


A Pursuit of Happiness

by azxrae



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Jearmin Week, M/M, broken!eremin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-17
Updated: 2014-07-17
Packaged: 2018-02-09 06:47:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1972929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azxrae/pseuds/azxrae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Accepting Eren’s proposal had seemed nice at the time, underneath the string lanterns on his father’s yacht, but now… now Armin realized Eren was nothing but security for him. Marrying him was the right thing to do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Pursuit of Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> This isn’t my best work, it probably would have been better if I’d not thought of it the day of the prompt and just... yeah. Also I stole a quote from the wedding scene in gossip girl if you notice. >_>

_Everyone’s waiting..._

_He’s waiting..._

_I should..._

Armin eyes were locked on his reflection, noting the glassiness in his eyes. It was an early morning in April – a perfect day for a ceremony such as this one. But everything was perfect, really. The venue and decorations were breathtaking; the caterer they’d booked for the reception was top-notch. And the cake. _Oh, the cake_. Every factor of today was tailored to absolute perfection. But of course Armin had expected nothing less. If he thought about it, the wedding had unknowingly become more about appearances than the personal aspect of it. And that upset him.

But maybe that was his desperate attempt at trying to justify how he was feeling. A sigh left his lips and he found himself keening, palms planted on the surface of the vanity. He’d been undoubtedly searching for something, the smallest thing, to make him snap. He needed a tangible reason to not go through with this, otherwise, how would Eren react? He couldn’t bear hurting him on his own. He’d never do that. If he could, he’d push the blame on something beyond his control.

So he was traitorously thankful when the door of his dressing room clicked open and a person of interest stepped inside. He was tall, clad in a fine black suit – a suit made especially for the best man. His ridiculous haircut was slicked back (upon direction of Mikasa), and God, if he wasn’t the epitome of outright dorkiness Armin didn’t know what was.

“Armin…” Jean sighed out his name.

It was that same, breathy tone he’d used back in high school. Brief rehashes of them horizontal on his bed appeared in his mind; Armin with his head buried in a pillow, Jean looming over him, clad in nothing but his boxers and his tattoos, chanting his name like it was a prayer.

But now, as Armin turned away from the vanity and took a few weak steps towards him, he could detect no wavering in his expression. He swallowed a breath before speaking.

“Jean… what are you doing here?”

But he wasn’t stupid. He was well-aware of his reason for coming.

“…You look beautiful.” Jean said simply, ironically, and Armin couldn’t help but laugh. There was a bitter taste in his mouth as he looked up.

“Thank you.” The blonde had the nerve to blush. _But I’d look even better on your arm. You and I both know it._

Jean’s hands were shaking as they lifted to adjust his tie. He looked contemplative, mouth pursing together as if he was unsure of what he was going to say. But Armin had a pretty good idea of what was about to tumble from those lips.

“…Armin, don’t...” The brunet’s voice lowered as he averted his gaze. “…You can’t... marry Eren.”

 _Ah, there it is._ He’d been subconsciously waiting for someone to say this, but no one else would – even though they all knew Armin wasn’t exactly the happiest groom.

“…You chose today or all days to tell me this?” The blonde’s voice almost cracked. Jean was staring at him in disbelief.

“You don’t even _want_ to marry him.”

Armin couldn’t argue with that. Accepting Eren’s proposal had seemed nice at the time, underneath the string lanterns on his father’s yacht, but now... now he realized Eren was nothing but security for him. Marrying him was _the right thing to do_. Sure he loved him, but as the months of their engagement stretched on everything had cemented. Armin realized a little too late that the boy he grew up with and dated all throughout college was _not_ the person he was meant to be with. It hurt, but he knew that person was standing before him now, begging him not to go through with this.

“Y-yes, but…” Armin placed a hand on his forehead, feeling the heavy layer of foundation beneath his fingers. “It’s good for everyone. I... he can take care of me.” Armin knew he was trying to convince himself more than anyone else. “He loves me.”

“That might be true, but you won’t be happy.” Jean’s eyes were shining as he stared at him. “You’d be happier with—”

“ _Don’t_ say it.”

Armin had to admire his boldness. Jean was Eren’s best friend. _His best man_. Yet her he was, trying to convince Armin that marrying him was not a good idea. But he knew that much on his own. He didn’t need anyone to tell him. When it came down to it though, Eren had more than enough money to support him, whereas Jean’s crap-paying job at the barber shop was not something Armin was willing to marry into. He’d like to believe love was enough. He believed that back in high school, when Jean and Armin had laid out on Jean’s trampoline fantasizing about their future. But as they got older, Armin became more of a realist.  

The blonde twiddled his fingers together. He refused to look at the man before him. Yes, he knew he was being a coward but… that was okay. Things would be okay if he just sucked it up and bore with the life he’d chosen, right?

“Armin.” Jean sighed. “I know… I know you’re scared. I know you want to rationalize everything but...” He leaned his hip on a chair, hawk eyes fixed on him. “I don’t want you to make this decision and then regret it later on.”

“That goes both ways, Jean.” Armin said, voice raising an octave. He dared to look at him and saw the clear hurt in his eyes. _He has the audacity to be hurt_. What they were doing was not dignified in the slightest, and yet here Jean was sulking like a puppy that had just been scolded.

_Damn him._

“I love you…” Armin choked out the words, as if they’d mend the situation somehow. “You know that. But listen, okay? Marrying Eren is the best thing to do.” _No it isn’t_.  “..I may not be truly happy, but at least I’ll be secure. I’ll have someone who loves me by my side.” He had to resist the urge to cry. He wouldn’t cry, not now. “And I think… you should find someone that loves you too.” He could hear the finality in his own words, and part of him wanted to take it back.

“I have.” Jean looked wounded. He rubbed his hand over his nape as a bitter smile etched over his lips. “He’s standing right in front of me.”

Armin looked down at the diamond on his finger and sighed. No other words were exchanged between them as Jean left the room as quietly as he’d entered. Once alone, Armin sank back down at his vanity and cradled his head in his arms, not giving two shits that his makeup would ruin from his tears.

\- - -

He’d been crying for what felt like hours before Armin finally lifted himself up. He looked a mess; his hair was tousled from the angle he’d been lying at and eyes were red and puffed from his sobs. It’d take another half hour at least to pull himself back together, he knew that much, but he found himself wobbling to his feet anyway.

His mind was hazy as he slipped from the room. The foyer of the chapel was empty – thank God – but he _did_ half-expect Jean to be loitering around… waiting. He refused to admit he was looking for him as he took a few steps and peered through a crack in the entrance doors.

Armin’s eyes widened but there was also a twinge of relief when he spotted Jean seated on the steps, head buried in his hands. His teeth were clenched together and... _were those tears_?

“Jean!” Armin called out, pushing the doors open without a second thought. His heart clattered violently in his chest.

The brunet looked up at him, startled. “…Armin, what?” He lifted his arm to wipe his eyes with his sleeve and coughed. “The wedding is starting soon.”

“I know that...” Armin exhaled softly as he sat down next to him, his arms resting on his knees. He looked out towards all the limousines that lined the curb. “Were you... planning to leave?”

“Yeah.”

Armin nodded slowly. His next words surprised him.

“Let me come with you.”

Jean’s neck nearly snapped as he whirled his head toward him. He sputtered for a moment before his palm lifted to rub his face, clearly in disbelief. “W-what?”

Armin offered a sad smile as he scooted closer to the other male. _What am I doing here?_ “You were right, you know.” He looked down at his lap. If he kept his eyes focused on Jean he was sure to start crying again. “I’ve… spent these last few years trying to analyze _every_ aspect of my life. I thought going through with this was the right choice, but you...” He stabbed his teeth into his lower lip. “You can never know if the choice you make is the right one.”

“So... what are you saying?” Jean reached out and placed a tentative hand on Armin’s knee. “You do realize that if we do this, we’ll lose nearly all our mutual friends, right?” Armin could feel his fingers trembling against him.

“I know that... I thought about that but I just…” Armin rolled his tongue around in his mouth for a moment. He didn’t even feel like himself then. It stung like hell when he considered the fact that all their friends would just… disappear if they really did run away together, but he couldn’t stop himself. “You can never be truly happy if you don’t make some sacrifices, right..?”

Jean turned away from him and stared downward. There was that contemplative look again. Armin figured he was probably thinking about how he was going to lose his best friend, and his heart ached for the both of them. But mostly for Eren.

“What should be done about Eren?” Jean’s voice was quiet, and Armin barely heard him against the passing cars.

“….I’ll talk to him.” The blonde reached over and gently grasped Jean’s shoulders, hauling them both up to stand. He looked up at him with red eyes. “But you should, uh… you should pack a bag.” He laughed a little, bitterness settling in his chest.

“Why so?”

Armin sighed and coiled an arm around his neck so he could easily bring Jean’s face down to him. “…There’s a honeymoon suite waiting for us in Maui…” He mumbled, and despite the situation he found himself smiling. Jean’s cheeks tinting pink at his words and he glanced off to the side, clearing his throat.

“Can we stop in Vegas first?” 

**Author's Note:**

> A happy/sad ending tbh. idek.


End file.
